I am not forgotten? The Universe is listening…
August 20, 2018
My grandmother died 80 years ago today—the grandmother I never knew—the grandmother I always longed to know. As I shared in my last post, I have been waiting 37 years to somehow connect with her, to actually see what she looked like—to simply find a photo of her. In June, I poured out my anguish in writing at Omega and was visited 3 times by a magical, mystical doe, who brought hope and love and light.
I shared in another post the experience I’d had on the table right before the lunar eclipse, but I only shared a piece of that story. And now it’s time for the rest. As I said, I was receiving energy work, and a clear, male voice came into my head and told me “You need to stop.” I had a feeling I knew what he meant, and I asked for confirmation that it was the family secrets that I had begun unearthing. The answer was a clear yes. “The truth is always the best course of action—it will set us all free” I replied. “Not now,” he said, “Not yet.” I reluctantly understood…but I had one request. Somehow I mustered the bravado to say “knowing all of this is important to me, but I understand what you’re saying. If I let this go for now—until the time is right—will you please send me a photo of my lost grandmother, Beatrice?” There was a long, pregnant pause, followed by a clear “Yes.” I practically jumped off the table in excitement. “When?” I asked, uncharacteristically pushy and bold. “”Now,” he answered, “Well, soon. Now.” Ten days later, on August 4, I received an email from a very unexpected source, stating that after years of me asking, a photo of my grandmother, that had been tucked away in a box for decades, had been found and was in the mail to me. Every day I ran to the mailbox, blood rushing, heart pounding…but nothing. I was convinced that it would arrive on the solar eclipse, to close the wild cycle of eclipse energy that had us all in its grip. When the mailbox was empty on eclipse day, I stopped running and remembered the lesson that I seem to need to be taught over and over again—patience, Tara. Everything in its own time. I should have known, I should have understood why it had to wait.
As I shared in my last post, on August 17, 1938, my grandparents were in a horrible car accident that triggered my grandmother’s premature labor and sealed her fate—my father was born that night. Exactly 80 years to the day, August 17, 2018, her photo appeared in my mailbox. This is Beatrice Nelson Sullivan, my lost grandmother, age 22, with her brother Charles, age 15. World meet Grandma, Grandma, meet the world.
It’s quite meaningful to me that of all of her siblings, it is Charles who appears in the photo with her, as the only things I know about her (blonde, bubbly personality, and a champion bowler) were told to my parents by Charles, when I was just an infant. In April, I sat by his graveside in Pennsylvania and spoke with him and his wife about my longing to know Beatrice, asking them for help.
What are the lessons here for our work with the departed? The first, I suppose, is the one my impatient self needs to hear again and again—everything in its own time. But I believe the most important teaching we can take from this is that angsting is not the same as asking. I spent 37 years hunting and hoping and anguishing over the fact that I did not know her or even have a photo. But as soon as I stopped the sturm und drang, and actually asked, it all happened quite quickly, within a matter of weeks. I planted the seed graveside in April, spoke to her at Omega in June, and made my clear and conscious request on July 25. August 17, 80 years to the day, it was in my hands.
So, in your ancestral work, please remember the power and gift of a simple, heartfelt request. The universe is listening, the ancestors want to help you. I wrote this line from Deepak Chopra in my journal, the day after my spirit communication experience on the table, the night before the lunar eclipse, not knowing how truly true it really was:
My attention activates my desires
Have you given your desires the attention they truly deserve? Have you actually asked the universe, the ancestors, and spirit, for what you long for, deep in your heart? Or are you merely angsting over the fact that you don’t have it? Please try. Please try simply asking. That, my dear ones, is true magic.
